


Bound

by CrimsonFirebreeze



Series: Legends of Asgard [9]
Category: Norse Mythology, Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Child Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Married Couple, Post Avengers (Movie), Punishment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-23 06:31:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/619117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonFirebreeze/pseuds/CrimsonFirebreeze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki's crimes have finally caught up with him and he now faces punishment. Except, it is not him who suffers and there is nothing he can do to spare the woman he loves from the pain he never meant for her to feel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bound

**Author's Note:**

> I have done a most horrendous thing… I am going to massacre your feels all over the place. I hope you’re ready!
> 
> A little insight before you begin. I am rarely affected by what I write because I am so focused on writing it. By the time it’s finished, I have read and re-read with a critical eye to the point of being unable to be bothered by the feels my readers tell me I have inspired.
> 
> But this…. I cried so hard while writing this. If it hit me this hard… well be prepared.

Screaming. He heard her screaming. It was the last thing he heard. It would haunt him, the spine chilling sound forever resonating in his skull. He’d heard her make many sounds through the centuries and he’d heard her scream before. But not like that. Never like that. His head was aching and the sound echoed in his memory, residual in the silence. No, not silent. He could hear the sound of crying. It was quiet, almost imperceptible but he reached for it, pulling himself back to consciousness.

Slowly, Loki opened his eyes. Trembling hands held a bowl over his head, the flesh horribly maimed with burns and peeling away. He knew those hands and the sight of them so destroyed sent a shot of white hot anger through him. His eyes followed the graceful lines of her arms until he could see her face. He almost wished he hadn’t. But only almost. 

Sigyn was always lovely. She always would be. She was the promise of spring after a long winter and she was the blazing beacon to a ship lost at sea. She was everything. And now as he gazed on her, he could find no trace of the things he’d clung to in his days of darkness. They’d broken her, in trying to break him they’d destroyed everything she was. He was the villain in this act and she was damned for loving him. In the end, it was his fault. He wanted desperately to wipe her tears away, pulling at the bindings that trapped him. Rage coursed through his veins as he watched more tears spill silently down her cheeks, unable to help her.

She sighed softly, turning to dump the bowl. He could see the serpent, then, spitting it’s venom. It was dripping faster than she could empty the bowl and her hand shot out, catching the the poison on her own skin. The only sound she made was a whimper and he looked to her as she brought the bowl back to shield him. Now he understood the condition of her hands and it hurt him that she was sacrificing more for him.

“Don’t do that again,” he commanded. Her teal eyes shifted to him and there was ice in them like he’d never seen before. “Don’t do that to yourself.”

Her eyes moved from him and up to the snake and the motion left a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach. She was angry and he didn’t blame her. This was his fault. Their sons were dead because of him. He’d wronged her and hurt her in so many ways over the long course of their marriage but this went beyond everything. This was too far. And what made it worse was he never intended for it to happen.

“Please,” he begged. He had never begged her for anything. He’d been too proud for that. “Please, Sigyn. Please don’t.”

There was only a hint of warmth in her eyes when they locked with his, but it was there. She didn’t look away for a long time and he saw entire galaxies in those depths. His breath caught in his chest as he saw, truly saw, the strength she possessed. Gods, it was beautiful and the flicker of it buried beneath the rubble that was her collapsed world gave him some reassurance that at least she had a chance left.

“You should go,” he said, resigning himself to his fate. She had suffered enough for one lifetime.

“I won’t leave you,” came her firm reply. He flinched at the sound of her voice. How long had she screamed? Long enough to do damage and he hoped it wasn’t permanent.

“You’ve done enough.”

“I  _will not_  leave you, Loki.”

“Oh my Sigyn,” he sighed. “How can you still be so devoted? How can your faithfulness be this enduring?”

“You are all I have left,” she said. She regarded him for a long moment and he watched as a thousand emotions passed through her eyes. “But I wish it had been you instead of them.”

The truth of it stuck him violently. It was no longer love that bound her to him. At least not the way it used to. Her life was over and it was a punishment for loving him to be allowed to live until Ragnarok, shunned and left with nothing but memories to haunt her. He didn’t blame her this desire. He too wished it had been him that died instead of their sons. 

“Would that I could grant you that wish, my love,” he said softly.

“Would that you could,” she repeated.

She turned away, emptying the bowl again. His eyes never left her, even when the venom splashed down onto his cheek. The pain was intense, as if his skin was melting away from his bones and he writhed against his bindings. If just one little drop did this, how had she endured the damage done to her hands? He took a deep breath as she brought the bowl back again.

“Why do this,” he asked her. “Why not let me suffer?”

“Because I’ve seen enough carnage done to those I love to last me an eternity.”

“Do I not deserve this?”

“You deserve worse than this,” she said coldly. “There is nothing you can ever do to pay the debt you owe to me.”

“I could kill them all. You know I would kill for you.”

“And what would that solve?”

“It would be revenge.”

“I would do nothing,” she hissed. “It will not restore my sons to me and it will not change how stupid you’ve been.”

Loki leveled her with a glare, growling, “They were mine too. I watched them die just as you did. Do not dare to think you are the only one who mourns them.”

“You did not have them ripped out of your arms,” she snapped fiercely. “You did not have their fingers slip through yours. You didn’t have to see the life pass out of Narvi’s eyes while his brother ripped him apart. It wasn’t you holding his hand. It was me, Loki. It was me. I was the one who held his hand and I was the one who cradled Vali as he passed. It was me, not you! I alone felt the first spark of their lives and I held them as their flames were snuffed out. Me, Loki, and don’t you dare take that from me.”

Hot tears slipped from his eyes as he watched her crumble again. Venom sloshed over the sides of the bowl as she trembled under the force of her sobs, dripping onto her hands and then him. He welcomed the pain this time, the burning far more bearable than watching his wife’s heart shatter and it was certainly more bearable than the deaths of their sons.

“I’m sorry, Sigyn,” he said finally. “I’m sorry that I have have brought you nothing but misery and shame.”

“But you haven’t,” she said softly. He looked at her curiously, raising an eyebrow. “The happiest days of my life have been with you. You’ve loved me in your own way and I stayed because I loved you in mine. I would not change it.”

“Even if it spared Vali and Narvi?”

“They would never have been mine without you. They were the greatest gift you ever gave me.”

“I have nothing left to give you.”

“Your love,” she whispered, her demeanor softening significantly.

“I did not dream that you would have want of it,” he replied 

“I will always want it, Loki. No matter how you wrong me.”

“Such beautiful words were never spoken before now.”

Sigyn turned again to dump the bowl and again the venom dripped onto him. He strained at his bindings, reaching for her as she returned. She slipped a damaged hand into his, squeezing gently. She chose then to bend, carefully balancing the bowl, and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“I love you,” she breathed against his mouth. “Still.”

She kissed him once more before carefully righting herself. Loki watched her for a long time, marveling at how much strength she possessed. She was a wonder to him still, after all the ages that had passed. That she could proclaim to love him after the horrors he’d inflicted on her, stunned him.

“You will not leave,” he asked.

“I will not leave.”

“For how long?”

“Until the end of time. And even then, I will not abandon you.”

Loki smiled up at her, touched. He never really had any doubt that she would leave, but he had to hear her say it. He needed that verbal reassurance from her. So many had promised love and loyalty to him and yet here he was. Sigyn alone had always stayed. She would never forgive him, he knew, just as he could not forgive himself. But still she stayed at his side and still she loved him through her pain. she deserved better than this and better than him. But if she would not give up on him, then he would never let her go should he ever be free of this place. He would spend every day atoning for his deeds but only to her. Just as he would only ever utter the words that sat heavily on his tongue to her and no one else. That was the price he would pay to fulfill the debt that he would never be rid of. He would swallow his pride and grovel at her feet if she demanded it. He would risk seeming the fool and cherish her more. He would appear weak and proclaim his affection for her. If he didn’t die here with her, it was the least he owed her. However, it couldn’t hurt to start now:

“I love you too, my Sigyn.”


End file.
